Paper Napkin

Tomorrow something longer, tonight I'm tired.

Good Evening. Here is a picture of Groucho Marx without his grease-paint eyebrows and mustache.

In case you were wondering what he looked like. Today I wondered what he looked like, so there you have it. It's a soulful picture, I think.

Day 2

OK! I'm all ready to write. Yep. Yessiree, the words are just going to come pouring out of my brain.

Wow. My fingernails are getting really long. I hate it when they hit the keys like this. Better trim them. I can never find the clippers when I need them....

OK! Nails clipped. Aaaalll ready. Except, I need a soda. In my Domo cup. Aw man, the kids drank all the soda. Again? Rats. Wait! I think I remember seeing a can of 7up on my dresser. Sure it's a few days old, but desperate times... Crap. No fizz left. Well, I have some Perrier in the fridge...

Mixing Perrier water with flat diet 7up that's been sitting on your dresser for 3 days isn't a great combo. Even if it is in your Domo cup. I mean, it'll do in a pinch, but its not the drink they're going to be serving at trendy night clubs. 

Alrighty. 

Today I ventured over to Amazon.com to pick up a few things. I bought my beloved a couple of birthday presents, and I bought the girls some jeans, and then I bought some cans of apple juice to pack in the kids' lunches.

Amazon is pretty much the exact replica of an old fashioned general store. Remember on Little House on the Prairie*, how Laura and the family would all pile in the wagon, hitch up Mr Jingles,** and head to the Olsen's mercantile? Mr Olsen would pat their head and give them free penny candy? And then on the ride home, they'd talk about what a bitch Mrs. Olsen was, and how they felt so sorry for Mr. Olsen, the doormat.

Yep, shopping at Amazon is exactly like that, except there's no camaraderie, because you're alone. And there are no handshakes, or head pats, or free penny candy, but there is Super Saver shipping! And of course, you don't have to deal with Mrs. Olsen looking down her pointy beak at you because Nellie is wearing a pink satin dress, and you're wearing a dingy gingham dress. Or in my case, yoga pants. Dingy gigham yoga pants. You can order those on Amazon too.

*the TV show, not the book
**not the horse's real name.

Just like mother never made

Meatloaf and I have a long and sordid history. I like the idea of meatloaf, although for the life of me I can't fathom why. The very name is really kind of unappetizing. Who in the world would make a loaf from meat? As if meat needed a makeover, a revamped image, maybe we should get it an agent while we're at it. It certainly doesn't need to be more substantial. I don't think economy is really a good argument. It's not as if half a cup of bread crumbs is really going to make it magically multiply.

Apparently a Roman cookbook, complied around the 4th century, contains the first written recipe for meatloaf.

"Esicia omentata: pulpam cincisam teres cum medulla siliginei in vino infusi. Piper, liquamen, si velis, et bacam mirteam extenteratum simul sonteres. Pusilla esicia formabis, intus nucleis et pipere positis. Involuta omento subassabis cum careno."                                            -------------------------------------------------------- "Ground meat patties in pork caul fat (whatever that is): Grind chopped meat with the center of fine white bread that has been soaked in wine. Grind together pepper, garum (whatever that is), and pitted myrtle berries if desired. Form small patties, putting in pine nuts and pepper. Wrap in pork caul fat and cook slowly in reduced wine."

I suggest you memorize that in the original language, and recite it at parties. Funny, I'm never invited to parties, I can't imagine why.

Aaaanyway. I like the idea of meatloaf, although it's not a food my mother used to make. She was generally on a gourmet kick or a health food kick, so we never really ate anything like meatloaf. I'm not sure why meatloaf is comfort food, if your mother never made it, but I do find it comforting, and occasionally I try to make it. It always turns out bland. Then I have a giant hamburger I'm forced to deal with for the rest of the week. I'm a really good cook, but there are some things I've never been able to make, and meatloaf is one of them.

But yesterday, I had a pound of ground turkey that was on it's last leg, so I decided to try and conquer The Meatloaf once again. I scoured the internet, looking at recipe sites, and by Googling "world's best meatlof." There are 680 recipes claiming to be the world's best meatloaf, and with hyperbole like that, you know that it's got to be extremely difficult to make a meatloaf that doesn't taste like sawdustloaf, otherwise why would all these people work so hard to convince you, "hey, mine doesn't taste like crap, I swear!" I printed the best sounding recipes, and studied them like a drowning man studies the horizon for a lifeguard (hey, it's meatloaf, I've got to interject some drama somewhere).

I actually wrote my own recipe, instead of throwing in a dash of this and a handful of that, the way I usually cook. I made it for dinner last night, and it was really good. For meatloaf. Even Emily, who pretty much hates everything I cook, liked it. So I give you, the recipe for The Meatloaf -- no utopian promises necessary, this meatloaf can stand on it's own.

Sheryl's The Meatloaf

Loafiness:
1/2 package meatloaf seasoning, or dry onion soup
2T butter
2 eggs
1 onion, chopped
1/4c ketchup
1/3 c celery, finely chopped
1/2 red bell pepper, finely chopped
2T minced garlic
1/2 c grated parmesan (sp?)
1lb ground turkey
11/2 t Dijon
1lb breakfast sausage
1t dried thyme (probably 3/4t if it's powdered)
1t dried rosemary
1/4c fresh parsley, finely chopped
2/3c half and half
2/3c bread crumbs
1T Worcestershire

Glaziness
1/2c ketchup
1/3c (scant) brown sugar
1T Worcestershire
1T HOT taco sauce

Preheat oven to 350. I never used to think preheating was necessary, but it is.

Saute onion, celery, parsley, bell pepper, garlic, thyme and rosemary in butter until tender. Set aside to cool.

Combine everything but meat and bread crumbs in a bowl (as opposed to a plate, or your hands) and whisk within an inch of it's life.

In a separate bowl, add meats and breadcrumbs, mix thoroughly with your hands (or a pastry cutter, if you're like me and don't like to get your hands oogie).

Add remaining ingredients, mix thoroughly (please use a pastry cutter, I don't like the idea of your hands being oogie either.) Put mixture in loaf pan (I used 2 loaf pans, because I don't like tall meatloaf).

Mix glaze ingredients, and pour over the top. (If you use 2 loaf pans, double the glaze.)

Bake for 1 hour. Remove from oven, cover w/foil, and let stand 10 minutes.

Rice, rice, baby

I'm surprised that last post went over like a lead balloon. I  want to assure you, if your concerned I'm some sort of masochist, I'm not. The point was not to embarrass myself, the point was to get in the habit of exercising.

So, back to cooking. Liz suggested I do a "Let's cook manic!" post, and I thought writing another innovative cooking post was a great idea, so if you have a suggestion please leave it in the comments. I'd intended to post all our dinners this week, but we've had somewhere to go every night, and I just haven't had time. Anyway, on to last night's dinner.

Black Beans and Rice
(with a side of peppers and kielbasa)

1 box mix black beans and rice
1 can black beans
1 c. dried rice (I like Jasmine)
yellow, green, and red bell pepper
onion
garlic (used in everything I cook. Oatmeal? Add some minced garlic!)
oil
low fat turkey kielbasa

I start with a box mix of Black Beans and rice, which I doctor up. You there, at home can cook your box mix in the microwave. I cannot. Because once? My husband tried to cook something. And our microwave turned into Pompeii. So I will be cooking my beans and rice on the stove.

As always, click to enlarge pics.  I'm sorry the color is off in these pictures. My camera thinks I live in a cave, and even with the flash, I have to Photoshop the heck out of everything, and the pictures still stink. I cook an extra cup of rice, and add a can of beans to try to cut the sodium in the box mix. I love Jasmine rice. So much more flavorful than white rice. If you want to make the recipe healthier, you can use brown rice.

Then, put a little olive oil and some garlic in a skillet, and saute bell peppers and onions. Slice some turkey kielbasa, and stick it in there too. I live in the sticks, so I can't find the "all turkey" kind, which is the lowest fat. But since I'm only using meat as a condiment, I figure it's okay. Since it's already cooked, just warm it through. Or you can leave the meat out altogether. Add a pinch of paprika and salt, if you go meatless. Voila, dinner is served.

Let's cook angry!

(Written last night, I'll post tonight's dinner tomorrow, tomorrow's dinner the next day, etc.)

I'm cranky. I baked a pie and cookies and I don't want to cook dinner. I'm making spinach lasagna, and I'm channeling some guy with ear hair, wearing a dirty wife-beater and smoking a cigar. You got a problem with that?

Here's what you need:

Spinach Lasagna

truckload raw spinach
no-boil noodles
onion
garlic
1 jar Ragu
basil, oregano garlic salt-- to taste
cottage cheese
mozzarella

So Tofu

The lovely Belinda was complaining that she didn't know what to make for dinner anymore, and I'm looking for blogging material, so! In honor of Belinda I will blog about what I make for dinner this week. I cook fairly healthy stuff, and by fairly healthy I mean I only serve deep-fried skirt steak with mac and cheese once or twice a week. Kidding!

I'm a pretty good cook, and the stuff I cook is very easy, because I have better things to do than sous. (Hee, I'm rhymie!) Anyway first, instead of dinner, I thought I'd share some of the stuff I make for my kids' after-school snack. Yes we do the pretzels, and veggies with ranch, and apples with peanut butter, but! But I also like to serve my kids afternoon tea. Yes, tea, as in "pass the crumpets" tea. (Someday my dorkiosity is going to drive all my readers away.) It's really fun you should try it!

No I don't make cucumber and watercress sandwiches, because I'd like my kids to actually eat, but I try to make stuff that's fairly healthy. Which brings me to my recipe for

Bring your tray tables to their upright position.

It's a whirlwind tour! Yesterday Aaron flew off to a Big City to be interviewed by a Big Corporation (not thinking about moving lalalala), tonight he'll walk in the door, and tomorrow we'll all leave for LA to see his family. (We're not going to Disney Land, but thanks for all the emails telling me all the ins and out of Mouseland, I am keeping them for when we do go.)

I'm not looking forward to this trip. Vacation with kids, isn't really vacation for me. It's trying to take care of all their needs, and do what I normally do in a 300sf hotel room. Thank the Lord for hotel pools, invented by some angelic harried mother, I'm sure. Most of Aaron's relatives don't have young kids, which means they don't have toys, which means when we're at their houses, I get to create thrilling games like, Pass The Coaster, Finger Race Across The Carpet, and Don't Break Great Aunt Dana's Ming Vase.

Aaron wants to go watch his high school football team play on Thursday, which made me think that sometimes my husband has very different ways of seeing than I do. I picture children running up and down the bleacher stairs, finding special treasures underneath the seats, having to go to the bathroom every 20 minutes, and mostly declaring "I'm boooored, when are we gooooing?" in that endearing sing-songy voice which makes me want to run my head into the closest cinder-block wall. While he pictures all of us engrossed in the game, spilling popcorn as we jump up and cheer when the home team scores. So. I told him he should feel free to go, and take a child if he wanted to, and the rest of us would incubate in the glow of Nickelodeon.

I'm sure it will be fine. I wonder how many times I've used that phrase in the history of this blog? Hmm, only two. Maybe I don't whine, and then quickly gloss over my whining, as much as I feared. We are taking along books, and games, and all the Nintendo devices we can stuff in a bag, and of course there's plenty to see and do that won't cost us $500 a day, the way Disney Land would have. Plus I won't have to travel through the airport and endure a 4 hour plane ride with 3 children by myself the way I normally do two or three times a year, and that is a VERY big plus. Heck, I might even get to read my book. I do look forward to the day when my kids are old enough to stay in an adjoining room to Aaron and me. That will practically be like a second honeymoon. At what age will they be old enough, anyway?

Wild Blue Yonder

It was Will's birthday a couple of weeks ago, but we didn't celebrate until yesterday. Five. He's five. My last-born sweet baby-boy child is five.

This weekend was the Dayton Air Show, which is where he said he wanted to go for his birthday. We were going to make the long trek yesterday, but I'm so glad we didn't. Yikes. Aaron has taken him down to Dayton for the past two years as a father and son thing, but this year he wanted to go as a family. I can pretty much guarantee that won't be a repeat event. It is so not my idea of fun to spend $12 on a hot dog and lemonade, and wander around in the hot sun all day; while all around me the military industrial complex is glorified, and the noise-polluting roar of jets reverberates through my innards.

Alrighty then.

In keeping with the theme, I made an airplane cake, which I would post pictures of, if I could find my USB cord. It kind of looked like this.

We bought Will a Gameboy DS for his birthday. I can't believe we did that, but we did. I was going to buy him the old Gameboy model, because his sisters both have one, and he rilly rilly wanted one. But when I got to the store, the adorably geeky guy was adamant that I had to buy the DS, because the other one is obsolete, and no new games are coming out, and I had SUCKER emblazoned across my forehead, and sprung for the DS. I could tell from the passion in his voice, and his pained expression that he wouldn't be able to sleep that night knowing a mother had bought her son a lowly Gameboy Advance. And then, he'd have to go home that night to his dilapidated duplex in the student ghetto, and tell his 4 roommates over stale pizza what injustice had occurred that day, to a mournful chorus of Duuuude.

So I bought one. It's just wrong in so many ways, isn't it? First of all, the kid is five. He shouldn't need anything more sophisticated than dirt and teaspoons to entertain himself. Second the evil brain-sucking power of videogames.Third, it's got a stylus that I know will be lost by next week. And where do we go from here? What do I buy him when he's ten, a car? Nevertheless, when he opened the box he had a smile that would've lit up Cleveland. So, there it is. I comfort myself with the thought that somewhere there's a four year old with a Wii.

The Lion King was great. We actually went down Thursday afternoon and came back Friday. (Yes, I mislead you-- actually I mislead a hypothetical stalker, which I do from time to time.) The costumes were absolutely amazing, and so was the lighting. It's been far too long since I went to see live theatre, and far too longer since I've done any. It was wonderful to feel the energy of an audience, especially the hush that settled right before curtain, and the ripple of delight you could see run across each row as the animals came down the isle in the opening song. The kids were mesmerized (except of course, toward the end, when in a moment of silence between scenes, Will asked aloud, "Is this thing ever going to end?"). Friday we went to the zoo, which was fun too. I kept the camera safely tucked away in the suitcase the entire trip. Thank heavens! If I remembered to take it out and use it, I could've scratched the lens!

Okay then, Joes Crab Shack It Is.

I'm trying to decide which restaurant we're going to for dinner, when we go to see the Lion King. We'll be traveling out of state, to Louisville, and other than stopping to pee at their fine Speedway, I haven't spent any time there. There's a Makers Mark Lounge there, and how weird is it that I considered stopping by to pick up Heather a T-shirt or a coaster or something, because even though I don't know her, I know she loves Makers Mark, and if Bourbon weren't completely disgusting I would probably drink some in her honor. (Actually I've never had Bourbon, but let's face it, most hard liquor is totally disgusting unless it's heavily disguised with syrup, liqueur, fruit, and tiny umbrellas.)

Anyway, I'm looking at a list of restaurants downtown, and I can tell you we won't be taking the kids to Bristols on the Waterfront, The Oak Room, or any place called Artemisia, Intermezzo, or Fufu Chi Chi. My children are well behaved in restaurants, but when patrons are paying $26 for their Bison Tartar appetizer, I don't want them to have to stress about whether my kids are going to throw the maraschino cherries from their Shirley Temples, across the room into the Coi pond.

No, more likely we'll be dining someplace where the kids can color their menus, and/or where they put your name on a plaque if you drink their Fishbowl Margarita. Or someplace where they give you a free T-shirt if you stand on your table and sing their commercial jingle (which would probably take place after you drink your Fishbowl Margarita).

Quick and easy crafts for the frugal.

Hi! Happy Easter! He is risen, and that is the very best news of all.

I have wanted to write this week. I've had a lot to say, but no time. And then when I had time, the weather (the very CRAPPY weather) bummed me out, and then I didn't feel like writing except to say, "Hey, snow! You suck! Go back to February where you came from!" Which no one really wants to read, so I didn't write at all. But I have come to terms with the weather (the very CRAPPY weather), so now I will write.

I have been trying, on a very tight budget, to decorate our house, so here are a couple of things I've done with Emily's room which have cost me well under $50 (total), and have added some sparkle to her plain-Jane room (which is not as pink as it looks in these pictures).

First, I bought an unpainted shelf, painted it white, trimmed it with magenta paint, hot glued some beaded trim along the bottom, and hung some butterflies and dragonflies on the hooks. The dragonflies and butterflies need longer ribbon, but I haven't had a chance to get any yet. Total cost: $22. Buy something like that at Pottery Barn, and it'll cost you at least twice that. Then you can put a few knick-knacks on it, and voila, a decent looking wall, for cheap.

Another thing that's really inexpensive, and looks good is to put up garland around the closet. It only takes about 3 strands, at 5 bucks a pop.

The thing I like about both these projects, is they're pretty much idiot proof. I'm fairly crafty, but I'm also fairly half-assed, so these are fail-safe projects, believe me. I don't attempt a project unless mistakes will make it look better.

I started this ribbon topiary this morning. It's a styrofoam ball, hot-glued on a dowel, which is hot-glued in a pot I painted white. Use several different styles of ribbon (you can usually find ribbon in the dollar bin at hobby/fabric shops, sometimes cheaper than a dollar) and cut them into 3-4 inch strips. Hot glue them in loops on the ball. As you can see, it's not finished, and I need to redo the bottom so it's not ugly, but it's another idea for a cute, inexpensive project that you really can't mess up. (In fact I ran out of two kinds of ribbon this morning, but by the time I'm through, you won't be able to tell, and the whole thing costs about 10 bucks.) More pics to come, as I'm planning on redecorating a lot this Spring.

Tilt Your Yummy Meter

Hi! I've been busy, and also really enjoying my week. Every time I sit down to post it feels a little too much like work, and that's no good. I do write on the fly, but I'm also dyslexic, not a touch typist, and I do try to bring a little imagination to the ho-hum --- even though my scandalous waste of overripe bananas, and my crackerjack analysis of American Idol needs no embellishment. So in lieu of a real post, here's the recipe of what I made for dinner tonight. It's easy and if you're a vegetarian, just substitute thickly sliced eggplant for the chicken.

Garlic Chicken

2t crushed garlic (I use the kind in a jar, don't tell Martha)
1/4c olive oil (the greener the better)
1/4c dry bread crumbs (As opposed to wet bread crumbs. Don't wet your bread, you'll be embarrassed if the kids at school find out)
1/4c grated Parmesan cheese
4 skinless, boneless, lifeless, flaccid chicken breasts

Preheat oven to 425° F or 220° C. Warm garlic and oil together in a skillet, until the flavors are blended, and the aroma tortures you with pleasure. In a separate dish, combine bread crumbs and cheese. Dip the chicken in the oil and garlic mixture, then into the bread crumbs. Place in a shallow baking dish, drizzle any left over oil over the chicken, sprinkle with yet more Parmesan. Bake in oven for about a half an hour, or til the center of the chicken is no longer pink and the juices run clear, like the mountain streams of the Colorado Rockies!

Serve with porcini and arugula tarts, or salad-in-a-bag.

Of Target End Caps And Monkey Children

We got crafty with it, this weekend. I went to Target for something, and of course, left with the something and several more somethings, because Target is the suburban mom's crack. (Feel free to use that for your new slogan, Target.) But! The somethings were on the clearance end caps, so I'm actually doing my community a service by buying clearance items, to make room on the shelves for Spring merchandise. Where's my Civic Award, and my 5 minute spot on channel 8 for such altruism, HUH?

Anyway, I bought Emily an alarm clock, so that I don't have to hassle her in the mornings. I'm under no illusion that the alarm clock will actually get her booty out of bed, but, we're putting little stickers on it, which tell her what needs to be done, at what time, so that she can get to the bus stop on time. This alarm clock gets mega ultra bonus points, because it comes in a kit! and you can paint it! and it's retro! with glow in the dark numbers! and it makes me use exclamation points interchangeably with commas! (click to enlarge)

    

Yes I do let my children partake of aspartame ridden drinks, so there. But the clock! Isn't it cool? And she made the lady bugs, and flower petals from her thumbprints (and a collective awww, is heard round the internet). Isn't this the kind of thing you keep forever, and pack when you go away to college? I think so too.

I also bought a watch making kit. Well, a watch band making kit, actually. See?

Okay, it's not Bulova, but it was fun to make. And while I was writing this entry, Haley came in and said, "Mom, I'm the Monkey of Liberty, like the Statue of Liberty, but instead of a torch, I have a banana!"

Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled monkeys, yearning to throw poop!

寿司

To try to break free of my present funk, I went to Trader Joes¹, and I saw that they had sushi. I mentioned quite a while ago that I had only tried sushi once, and that I didn't like it, but so many people lurve it, that it warranted a second tasting.

So I picked up a little sample platter, complete with ginger, Soy, and Wasabi. California rolls, spicy rolls, low-fat rolls, and salmon rolls were the featured fare. I can't imagine what people in advertising have to go through to make a product look palatable, because this sushi just isn't photogenic.

I tried this first. I think it's a California roll, or maybe they're all called California rolls, I'm really not familiar with the phylum, class, and order of Japanese cuisine. Anyway, it was yummy. Slightly sweet, and the rice  and seaweed combo didn't bother me at all. I'm not sure what I tried the first time, but the texture was much chewier than this.

I put a little Wasabi on it. I didn't know until today that Wasabi means "sauce of flaming nostrils" in Japanese. It would have been nice if there had been a warning on the label, but after I regained the feeling in my tongue, I decided it was good stuff.

Next I tried these, which I assumed were the salmon rolls, but must have been the spicy rolls, since they were the only spicy morsels in the box. These were very good. My favorite of the lot.

The last two roll thingys weren't that great. This was was faux crab, and really, who wants to eat faux crab. Faux crab is like pleather of the food world.

I have no idea what was in this, but it tasted exactly like smoked oysters, which I like-- just not what I was expecting. Meh.

So there you have it, my branching out into the world of sticky rice and sea weed, (which by the way, my children blanched at, and told me looked like cow skin and bird seed.Oh well, more for me.)

I went to Trader Joes, because Amanda said that their non-organic milk doesn't have hormones, and is reasonably priced. Unfortunately Trader Joes manages every region of the country differently, so that's not true in Ohio, but their organic milk is pretty reasonably priced.

A little bread-- a crust-- a crumb

Last night I did something I've never done before. Something generations of people have labored to perfect. I baked bread. Yeast bread. I'll pause while you catch your breath, and steady your knees.

Who bakes bread anymore, unless they have a bread machine? No one I know. What's next? Playing the lyre, and receiving gentlemen callers in the salon, that's what. Of course I've baked "quick bread" before, banana bread, cranberry-orange bread, even zucchini bread, but let's not delude ourselves; these are cake thinly disguised as bread, because they're baked in a loaf pan. I ask you, is a body a cadaver merely because it's lying in a casket? Certainly not, you answer. Exactly my point, I retort.

If I recall correctly, someone won the Nobel prize for demonstrating that yeast eats sugar, which is essentially what I did last night.  Whose idea was it to mix fungi with sugar and warm water, whip up a warm frothy Petri dish, and use it as a foodstuff? Who? Maybe the wife of the laureate who was sick and tired of the whole foamy sour-smelling mess. How does my gynecologist do it, she may have wondered.

Yeast bread is the most intimidating culinary endeavor-- more like alchemy than cuisine. Beef Bourguignon, Turducken (turd, hee, I am 12), Chocolate Truffle Croquembouche? Pish. All hat and no cattle, as my dad would say (I should tell you all the things my dad is known for saying someday). But bread is a concoction so delicate and complex I feel certain I can now turn lead into gold. I was on pins and needles all night. "Is the water warm enough to activate the yeast? Did I knead the dough enough? Will it rise?" I've given birth with less commotion.

Finally, at close of evening something wonderous emerged from that hot hole in the wall. Behold it's floury goodness!

(Note to self: remember to email pics to Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences.)

Oh The Places You'll Go

I took thie kids to a nature reserve on a morning bird hike. It was nice to get Katrina out of my head, and just meander along looking at fuzzy caterpillars and spider webs glisten in the sun. I don't know anything about nature really, my parents are not outdoor people at all, so I wasn't exposed to it much as a kid. My mom doesn't even like the window down in the car, ha! This morning was a guided hike and I learned so much. The kids had a great time, and as we were nearing the end of the trail we spotted a bat!  It was about four inches long, hanging on the branch just above us, its wings tucked in. So cool! I forgot to bring the camera though, wah. I also saw something called jewelweed . If you gently squeeze its seed pod it will turn itself inside-out and drop its blue seeds. The liquid in the stem is also an antidote to poison ivy. Listen to me, practically an Eagle Scout.

I'm so glad we got up this morning, even though I was so tired my eyes felt like they were glued shut. I've been thinking a lot lately about the kind of person I want to be: always making discoveries, delving into things that interest me, continually learning. I've been trying to plan my time a little better, because with three kids, the current of life will just pull me along, if I let it. I have to purpose where I'm going, so I'll have more mini-adventures like the one we had this morning.

Hi!

The kids and I have made our summer pilgrimage to my parents house in Arizona. My parents are in their seventies, so naturally they decided they would build a new house. Which they would design, and contract out themselves. Um, yeah, why not. (It's a little depressing when people twice your age have twice your ambition and energy.) Anyway!  It's a gorgeous house.

Here is the pool; it has about a 6ft drop off, and no wall or fence, so you get the feeling you're swimming in a dessert spring.

We've been swimming early morning and at night, because you can't go out in the heat.

Well, you can go out in the heat, the 114° heat, like these golfers, with the boiled brains. The one in the red shirt made a lovely putt and then spontaneously combusted.

Yes, what better place to have miles of grass than in the middle of the desert, where you have to waste oceans of water to keep it alive! Oops, sorry, my bourgeois is showing. My parents also have some really nice art. Unfortunately, Typepad is head-bang-ing-ly slow today, and why am I uploading all this stuff when I could be in the pool? Okay, two more.

These vessels are about 5.5' tall, and they're hand thrown and fired in an underground kiln. The sculpture in the middle is bronze and was done in the 30s. I don't know the name so let's call it Hey! You, Coast Guard, How Long Do I Have To Perch On This Wave Before You Swing 'Round And Pick Me Up? I don't know if you can tell, but that wall is curved...

...Here is the other side of the round library. It's not nice to make your children drool.

Sign My Guest Map While I'm Gone, Wouldja?

Happy St. Nicholas day. Santa is a special friend of ours and comes early to our house. You're jealous aren't you? Tonight we will decorate the tree and tell the story of St. Nicholas, and hang the stockings. After the kids have gone to bed, he will come and stuff them (the stockings, not the children) with trinkets. We're expecting a letter from him to come in today's mail too. What can I say? We've got connections. Tomorrow Chanukkah starts so we've got a festive week ahead. Yes, it's just one big ecumenical party around here.

I'm taking a blogging break until the new year. In a couple of weeks I'm gonna pack up my troubles in my old kit bag and fly with the family to spend Christmas with my parents and sister. I need to do a lot of thinking and recreating and pie-eating. My parents have the most comfortable tub on the planet Earth. So, among other vacational endeavors, I plan on soaking in warm water until I'm shriveled on the outside, and un-shriveled on the inside. I hope you have a warm and wonderful year's end. I hope that you're able to tolerate any relatives who grate on your nerves. I hope that you get good gifts, material and otherwise. To make your holiday season merry and bright, here is the best eggnog recipe on the planet Earth (don't say I never gave you anything). Even if you don't like eggnog, you'll like this or my name isn't Jack Frost. Even Ebeneezer Scrooge was seen doing the limbo under tiny Tim's crutch after a flagon of this stuff.

If you want to be notified upon my return, leave a comment saying so, and I will email you. Also, I may tweak my side bar so if there is anything you love or hate, speak now or hold your peace until the next time. Now, on to the eggnog.

 

The Eggnog

12 eggs, separated
2 cups sugar
1 pint brandy
1/2 pint light rum
1/2 pint peach brandy
3 pints whole milk
1 pint heavy cream
Nutmeg (optional)

Beat the egg yolks and sugar together until thick. Slowly stir in the brandy, rum, peach brandy, milk and cream. Refrigerate until thoroughly chilled and pour into a punch bowl. Beat egg whites until stiff, and fold ever so gently into the eggnog. If you want to, grate a little nutmeg on top. If you take this to a Christmas party people will fawn over you, and you will be the hit of the party. And if not, you won't care because you will be having a lovely lovely time all by your own self.

Emily, Will, and Haley

The Road To Ohio, Day 3

Heavens to Mergatroid! I checked into our hotel tonight which was supposed to have internet access, but I could not  hook up no matter how haaaard I  tried. Having internet access without having internet is like having cigarettes but no matchesbut as you can see I  spoke sweetly and patted my wireless card and,  voila.  We are in Nashville, though I doubt we even get a glimpse of the Grand Ole Opry. We're not exactly in tourist mode, though I would like to be since I am curious about Nashville. Our trip is going very well though tonight I would like a little peace and quiet, but since there are 5 people in this room, I better give up that expectation.

Being in a new place is very liberating. Since I don't know the ins and outs of the local culture it is easier for me to be myself. In Texas there are some rigid social customs, and I just wasn't  brave enough to put myself out there since I knew I did not fit in. So I ended up do a lot of observing and not much interacting. But you know what?  I'm too old for that crap. I remember Oprah said one time that when you turn 40 you just don't really care what people think of you anymore, and the closer I get  to 40 the  more I agree.

On the food front, I ate sugar today. It's really hard traveling and trying not to eat junk food. Especially since my whole family  seems to get some sort of goody at every gas station (I can't seem to convince dad that this is not the kind of family tradition we need.) I'm not excusing myself, but that is the reality. I will try again tomorrow. I have a really unhealthy relationship  with food. During this rather stressful time resisting sugar has been just like a smoker who is quitting smoking. I definitely use food like a drug. Food/eating has very little to do with nourishment or hunger, and I am bumbling through, trying to figure out how to change that. I think a big part of it is being willing to do it even if I don't want to  do it, and that is a difficult concept for me.

Greetings from The Magnolia State

Hello from Mississippi where it is raining hard enough to drown a duck. We have stopped here for the day to visit Aaron's relatives and will head to Nashville tomorrow, and on to Ohio on Monday. Aaron will start work on Tuesday and the furniture will arrive. Aside from some car sickness (uh, I only thought Haley had out grown it), not enough sleep, a few conniptions from Will, and the usual stressors found in moving accross the country we are doing fine. In fact, we decided to stop at a hotel in Louisiana last night, and when the kids asked me why we were stopping before we got to grandpa's I said "Well, some of us (read: me) are tired and grumpy," and Emily said "Which one of us is grumpy?" So, I must be keeping my cool pretty well. Traveling is always educational. The kids learned a new word: racism. When we stopped for dinner near our hotel, and lo and behold in the parking lot there was a white pickup truck with not one but FOUR huge confederate flags standing proudly on each corner of the truck-bed. "Children," I said "Do you see that flag? It means that the driver has a teeny-tiny penis." Okay, I didn't say that. But we had a long discussion about the problem of hate, and then mommy resisted the urge to throw a cinder block through that windshield, because that would be very satisfying wrong. But the South gets a bad wrap, and there are many nice, non-hateful people here. Some interesting answers on the last post. I will announce the winner next time, which will hopefully be tomorrow if my hotel has internet access.

The Grand Canyon State

Well, we made it to sunny Arizona. The kids were so cooperative and sweet for our day long marathon in the airport, and were equally lovely on the plane.  I forgot the digital camera so you'll have to imagine the red rock formations and flowering saguaro. Any postcard collectors out there? I'll be happy to send you one.

The kids have been living in the pool since we got here. I can’t think of anything sweeter than doing a slow waltz around the pool with my one year old, pressing his sun warmed cheek against my cheek, hearing his breath, and kissing each prune-y finger.

I’ll share these two little funnies from Haley (3). One was “But mom, how will the plane know which Arizona to fly to?” The other was when we were getting ready to go to the airport and Aaron was shaving. Emily said “Dad, you have a little shaving cream on your ear.” Haley responded in her “no duh” tone  “Emily, what are you saying? He’s got it all over his face!”

To top it all off I won the Sentence Smackdown, played weekly at Martha's Come by next Wednesday to join the fun!