So Long, and thanks for all the fishes.

I'm conducting an experiment in quitting. I want to see what it's like to not have a blog.

5 years ago I started this here blog. I was crazy as a loon at the time. I lived in Texas, where I did not fit in at all. My husband was in graduate school, and was gone so much I actually had to pretend he was on military deployment so that when I saw him I could be pleasantly surprised instead of resentful. I had 3 children under 6, and I yelled a lot. I was depressed. I knew no one, and it was a lot of fun reading blogs, writing posts, commenting on other blogs. It was a lot of fun feeling like a part of a community. It was a very bright spot in my life.

But my life is very different (read: much better) now, the blogging community has changed a lot (read: not for the better, in my opinion), and I'm not much a part of it any more. I don't have the free time I used to to spend on the internet, so I don't participate as much as I did.

Frankly, I didn't make the transition from blogging buddy to friend very well. I sent and received some presents, I had some phone conversations, but not much more. Even when I had the chance to interact face to face, I often didn't. It just felt too weird. I guess I need friendships to generate more organically or something. Maybe I'm just an odd duck.

Lately in the blogosphere some tragic things have happened. There have been deaths, divorces, job losses, and the recurrence of mental and physical illness, and I really haven't been able to offer much support other than a donation, or some kind words. Some beautiful things have happened too. Marriages and births, new pets and new jobs, and I really haven't been able to offer more than heartfelt congratulations.

I am a primate. Primates like to verbalize, and hug, and point. We like to give eye contact, and pick nits from our friends' fur. The best aspect of friendship is just hanging out. So much of myself and yourself is missing when we interact via social media, it doesn't satisfy the primal me.

But it's also been amazing to meet so many great people, and at least get a peek in the window of your lives. I never would have known Liz or Sam or Dana existed if it weren't for blogging, and my life is richer because of them and others. No matter how limited blogging is, and no matter how much I hate the word blog, it's wonderful. As you can see, I'm conflicted, which is nothing new, which is why this is only an experiment in quitting*. We'll see how it goes.

If I do blog again, I'll probably start fresh somewhere else, so email me at papernapkin@gmail.com if you want my new address.

Comments

[lizardek]

Shit. First BP, now this. *weeps* AAARGH. You know I want the address, woman.

[Reé]

Oh, Sheryl. I understand and am happy that your life has improved, but I'll miss reading you. Please email me if/when you change locations.

[Steph.]

I have faded and am now coming back, formerly Crazy MomCat, now Cattywampus Life. I get what you're saying, and what you're feeling. But, I always found your blog so witty. I do hope you return or reinvent yourself somewhere!

[DM]

I am torn because a) you mentioned me in your post and b) you cannot leave me because I will cry massively and never get over it and it will be horrible.

Well, you can and I'll survive. And yes, I would want the address.

Also (this will make no sense to anyone else except you), the small gray cat is a vacuum and loves to clean up after her brother's vomiting excursions. There was a reason why I cleaned up the chicken wings catastrophe so quickly.

[Scott]

Wow.
I'll miss your posts. I understand- life overtook me last year, and I vanished (ie: I no longer had a virtual presence, but was still very much alive).
I'm back, and loving it again- and I hope you come back too. All the best for you and your family- you helped me through some crappy times.
Scott

[schmutzie]

*lower lip sticking out*
I hate it when people I like leave the internet, but I understand why. I'm an odd duck myself. And you sent me a (very treasured) duck! Be well, and maybe drop in once in a blue to let us all know that you're still alive and well.

PS. Put me on your e-mail list if you move to another spot online.

[Alana Ansley]

Yours was one of the first blogs I ever read when I first heard about them in 2005, and I'll be sad to see it go. I understand though, because I've been feeling the same way. I just don't have the time anymore, and my life isn't all that interesting. I do want to know if you start a new blog, and I was wondering if you were going to stay on Twitter.

[All Adither]

Sheryl, I've loved your blog. You're a true natural and the interweb will be emptier without you writing in it. I hope to see you back again. Yes, I want the new address if and when.

[Sam]

Oh, Sheryl! Things have changed here in our little neighborhood, and it's getting lonesome. Your friendship and wit and true empathy - not to mention your generosity - have been gifts, for sure. My life is definitely richer to have known you in this medium. That's what so funny about this blogging friend - I have made friends of the heart through it, and people that I will care for until my heart gives out. That includes you, you amazing woman you.

[Rosana]

i totally understand! i have only been doing it a year and i have connected with some great people, but there is something to be said with the actually human "touch," if you will.

best of luck! and, if you ever want to check out a new blog, feel free! would love to get your comments...

http://chroniclesofmomnia.blogspot.com

[Kris]

I like your explanation -- primal. I remember telling my therapist how lonely I was, and at the time I was really into blogging (2005, 2006-ish). She was like, encouraging me to go online to find friends. I was like, no, I need people I can touch and hear and ... smell? I don't know. She didn't get it, but I did, and apparently so do you!

[Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah]

Really?

also

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

also

I understand.

[Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com]

Good luck! =) I went blog-free a few years ago and came back on my own terms. It's a very liberating experience. I hope you enjoy it, however long the break turns out to be!

[Amanda]

Well I'll miss you for sure!

But I'm definitely with you on the primate thing. I just can't bring myself to feel the same connection to my blog friends that I do to my real-life friends. I need that physical presence - the hug, the clinking of the occasional champagne glass, etc.

If anything, I think my blog makes me lonelier because my real-life friends read it and then don't call me to see how I am because they already know.

Please definitely put me on the e-mail list if you set up shop someplace else! And if you decide not to, I really hope you'll keep writing SOMETHING. It would be sad to let your talent go to waste.

[Elizabeth]

well sure, I understand-- in full measure-- but must mark this change with a bit of commentary as you defined good blogging to me-- and speaking of gifts-- I think you you are a gift savant, truly-- if you could make money doing it-- woman, you'd be rolling in it-- seriously-- you are gifted with the gift giving!! But mostly, youo are a funny, witty writer--- I do hope as you go into new activities you keep your writing alive and give it a new venue, too.

I would very much like to meet you one day for reals. Til then, bisous-- bp

[Eva Robertson]

Oh, I so enjoyed discovering you! What a shock to see this new header. But very clever.

I'm sad to see you go. Your reasons are sobering. A while back I believed you asked about what friendship was -- I guess you figured it wasn't what happens in the blogosphere, for the most part.

I will e-mail you and please notify me if you move elsewhere.

[el-e-e]

Oh, rats. But... I totally get it.

We're better for having "known" you, too. Take care, be well. :)

[Term Paper Writing]

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