Sixes and Sevens, now with more elipses

I fancy myself a person of superlative decision-making skills.

Go ahead, give me a dilemma. Ask me to choose something, anything.

Except maybe which stocks to invest in. Judging from my most recent 401K statement, I should have just opened a Take All The Neighborhood Children To Disney On Ice fund instead. I would've ended up with about the same amount of money, and been in slightly less pain-- though not much. Besides, choosing stocks is more about predicting the future than making good decisions, and I never claimed to have that gift. So I can be broke and still have good analytical skills... or something... where was I going with this?

Oh yes, right, decisions.

When I make a decision, I take a look at the big picture, I weigh the pros and cons, and consider the people involved. I take a passing glance at my feelings, but try not to let them influence unduly, unless the decision is one of personal preference (ie: chocolate or vanilla? Vanilla-- pfft, give me a hard one). I try to listen to my gut, because when I ignore it I almost always end up in a big pot of trouble. This is the path I walk, which leads me to Resolutionville.

The times I have the most difficulty making decisions is when I can't move beyond Wishing Things Were Different. This is the large tree that sometimes falls across the path on the way to Resolutionville. If I can't Accept The Way Things Are, and be clear and honest about assessing my situation, then the path is blocked.

And that's where I found myself at 3:30 this morning. Mulling over why I'm X when I'd like to be Z, like those other people. You know, those people over there, with the greener grass? I could've been Z, but I would've had to do A, B, and C, which I was uncomfortable with. But now I'm wondering if I should've done, or maybe should still do A, B, and C. But what would doing A, B, and C cost me? Would I like Z if I got there? Is X so bad?

Etc, etc, on it went like that. And then I thought, "I don't really know all the ins and outs of what I should have done or not done, or what I should do now. But I do know this is not a good feeling. What is this feeling I'm feeling? Ambivalence. Ambivalence is not a good feeling... It's not a bad feeling either." And then I giggled, because I entertain me.

And then I thought, Elton John should have written a song called "I Guess That's Why They Call It Ambivalence" which would go like this...

I Guess That's Why They Call It Ambivalence

Deciding which way,
Is taking me forever.
Between you and me
I can honestly say
I wish that I were more clever.

My acumen
is nothing to brag about
Oh no it's not
Cause if I were smart
I would shit
or get off the pot

And I guess that's why they call it ambivalence,
Time on my hands is spent weighing equivalence,
Furrowing my brow,
Feeling conflicted,
I make a decision
then contradict it
And I guess that's why they call it ambivalence

(Other silly songs I've written are here and here.)

Comments

[lizardek]

Two things I already knew I loved: that song (original format, natch) and YOU. Now? EVEN MORE. 3:30 a.m.?? You're insane, woman.

[MonsteRawr]

You should send this to Elton. Or even better, Weird Al.
You're right about needed to move past wishing things were different, thought. I think that's why I'm incapable of making tough decisions, because I can't get beyond hating the fact that I hate my choices. You're so full of wisdom...and funny.

[Jennifer]

I am such a worrier that I worry that I'll make the wrong decision no matter what decision I make!

And I LOVE the song!

[Kay Dennison]

Wayyyyyyyy coooooooooool!

[DM]

I love the song, both the original and yours. And I also giggled because you amuse me as well.

Decide for me. Should I work on my birthday? Or should I not work on my birthday. I am leaning towards no because I hate working on my birthday. But everyone I work with is saying yes because I would get more attention there instead of at home where the only ones paying attention to me would be the cats and that's only if they want treats. Maybe if you decide that for me that will help you not be ambivalent! Win win for both of us!

[DM]

Oh. Did you get my email? I sent it from work.

[schmutzie]

You are being featured on Intrepid Tuesday!
http://www.fivestarfriday.com/2009/03/intrepid-tuesday-edition-20.html

[Scott]

Brilliant!
I do the same- not rewrite Elton John songs- but lie awake at night fretting, and I can't think of any balanced decisions that have been made out of those fret-sessions. All I get is the curious appearance of owlish hollows around my eyes.