Educate Me

I was visiting Jessica over at Daydreams and Musings yesterday, and read her post about poor parenting. One of the things she talked about was the epidemic of childhood obesity. That's an issue I'm concerned about with my own kids, and I'm not sure I have all the tools I need as a parent. So naturally, I turn to my blogging friends for help.

Growing up my parents were always either on a diet or about to go one one. They went on Atkins, Pritkins, Scarsdale. They ate their weight in cabbage soup and grapefruit. They went on the drinking man's diet (perfect for 2 alcoholics), the cold water diet, there was even a diet where you ate liver and mashed potatoes for breakfast. They went to "doctor" centers where they got vitamin B-12 shots, and other "clinics" where they got diet pills (which, in the early 70s, was basically speed), and in our den a vibrating-belt machine stood in the corner, waiting to shake away the fat.

Food was always talked about in terms of how many calories it had, or whether or not it was fattening. And when my mom wasn't on a diet? She took me to Baskin Robbins everyday after school for a double scoop cone, made elaborate meals, and desserts, and bought me lots of candy. Bet you can guess which swing of the pendulum I liked better. To my mind all this meant, you diet so that someday you can eat whatever you want. Why not just skip the dieting part? And I did.

Now that I have children of my own, we have a lot of age-appropriate conversation about what food does for your body. Broccoli makes your bones strong, and has stuff called beta-carotene that can keep certain sicknesses away. Pasta gives you energy, so it's good before a soccer game, but maybe not when your going to spend the evening reading or watching TV. Food that comes from nature is better than food in a box. I've told my kids that diets are not good for you, when they ask about how to keep from being fat, I tell them to eat when they're hungry, stop when they're full, exercise, and eat a lot of fruits and veggies (and I find it a little disturbing that they're concerned about being fat at such a young age). I've never said one bad thing about my body, and I've made sure they know that while being fat is hard on your body, it's nothing to be ashamed of.

I have one child in particular who loves food. When they talk about memories of our family together they always talk about the food we ate. And this child isn't particularly fond of moving their bod either. So I try to guide them toward other pleasures, and I always have my kids involved in some sport, hoping they will find one they love. Chris wrote a great post yesterday about picky eaters. Food has never been a battle ground in our house. I serve the food, and they can eat it or not. That's something positive my mom modeled for me.

Overall I think I'm doing a better job than my mom did at educating my kids about health, food, and the complicated First World relationship we have with them. But I'm not sure how I'm doing in other ways. I've done a lot of research about kids and healthy eating, and I one of the flaws I find in nutritional education is that although high fat high sugar foods are discouraged, there are no specific guidelines about frequency or portion. Words like sparingly, occasionally and seldom, don't really help someone who hasn't grown up in a home where those words were used. With my family, it was all or nothing, feast or famine. Does occasionally mean 3 times a week, once a month, or only on holidays? The food pyramid gives you the size and  number of servings of veggies to eat in the day, but when you get to the top it peters out.

And there are other contributors to a healthy lifestyle, exercise is encouraged, and so is limiting TV, video games, and computer time. But what's the real life application of those things in your house?

I'd also like to know the healthy after-school snacks you give your kids. I think mine are about to revolt against yogurt, string cheese, and fruit.

So I want to know, Internet! How often do you let your kids eat candy, dessert or sugared cereal? Do you take them to McDonalds, and let them eat chips? How often do you let them drink soda? Do you let them snack in between meals? How much TV do you let them watch? Do you encourage them to exercise a certain period each day? Do you make sure they're involved in sports? How much time do you let them spend on the computer? My inquiring mind wants to know. So leave a long comment, or write your own post and leave a link below (html is allowed).

Comments

[Em]

I like some of the ways you put things to your kids (like food from nature is better than food from a box - easy and true!).

For us, I worry that my obsession to keep food from being an issue MAKES it an issue. McDonald's I don't allow more than once a week, which is probably too much but I'm a french fry addict myself. Tonic/soda/pop has never passed their lips (they are 3 and 4) but my family thinks I am crazy over that one. The kids consider it a "grownup drink" akin to beer or coffee. They don't even try. Milk or water are the staples for drinks but they will have juice occassionally (mostly at school and grandmas house) and lemonade or something at a restraunt. I don't keep much junk food at home because I would eat it all and when I do, I try to buy the low fat kind (like baked or fat free chips). Then I wonder if I'm fooling the kids and myself into thinking these foods aren't as bad for them.

I keep alot of fruit and bite sized veggies around and one fave snack of my kids is veggies with dip (I'm lazy as sin, so you know its no work) - a plate of baby carrots, broccoli, cauliflower with a small bowl of fat free thousand island dressing in the middle. I keep white bread hidden in the house for me but I keep high fiber bread for everyone else (blech) and things that are snacky but hopefully better for them (like all bran bars - totally sweet and sticky but 5grams of fiber - 20% of daily allowance - and low in fat. If only they could get Dora to endorse those!)

My kids get more sweets than they should (mostly thanks to close grandparents) but instead of scolding them for it or taking them away, I avoid it when I can and offer alternatives. I also try to avoid using food for reward or punishment.

My kids don't ususally snack between meals. I try to make sure there is a meal every 4-5 hours (8, 12, 5 or thereabouts) and I have a bigger problem with cooking a meal they are too full to eat than the actual act of snacking. When I'm being a good mommy, I make a list of meals for the week, always do salmon once a week and cook like June Cleaver. That only comes in fits and spurts though.

I'm interested in others comments about this. I find my biggest challenge (besides grandparents) is school. The first time we were supposed to bring in snack for preschool, I brought little boxes of raisins and was spoken to (choking risk? allergy? something). No, they want cookies or crackers please and juice. Everyone gets juice. Whatever....

[Theresa]

I try not to place too many restrictions on junk food. I think if you emphasize it too much, you turn it into the 'forbidden fruit' every kid wants. Besides, once they get into school, or start hanging out with their friends, junk food is everywhere. I simply offer healthier alternatives most of the time, like yogurt and fruit smoothies, and try to teach them moderation when it comes to junk food/not-so-healthy food. So yes, they can have chocolate pudding for dessert on Thursdays, but it's already in little bowls, so there's no dispute on the amount they get.

They LOVE fruit, so I try to keep tons of fruit in the house. Soda is allowed, but as an occasional treat - their dentist needed only to show them a few photos of what the acid and sugar in soda can do to your teeth to take soda off their list of must have drinks. I push water, truth be told, because juice is nothing but sugar. My kids will drink water all day if it's bottled, so it's worth the cost of buying it even though we have perfectly good tap water.

All in between meal snacking is healthy, and I don't offer an after school snack, partly because we eat dinner within an hour.

They are all engaged in sports throughout the year, so exercise is had to that extent, and in the summer, TV time/computer time is seriously restricted to encourage them to play outside. In the winter, there's not much to do when it's below zero with the wind chill, so I make subtle dietary changes they don't even notice.

I'm not a big fan of the TV to begin with, so I push reading, or crafts.

Our elementary school, btw, is very strict regarding snacks. If a parent sends in cookies, they are taken away. Fruit, crackers, pretzels and string cheese, with water only, is all they allow.

[lillie]

well, i just don't mention it. kiddo is expected to eat her vegetables, she eats fruit daily, and desserts we have available at home (if vegetables get eaten) are typically low-fat puddings or all natural popsicles. she gets her exercise through group sports and then activities at school. i feel like if i worry about it all the time, she'll start worrying about it, and that's not what i want. my family has a tendency for big-bonedness in youth, and i already see her heading in that direction ... but she eats pretty healthy and she's active.

as far as after school snacks, we do string cheese, fruit, etc. also. she seems to like it ok. :)

[vividblurry]

Like Theresa said, I view soda as a treat. When I'm babysitting my niece, I'll give her a glass of Coke as a "reward" or treat - never at night though because it tends to keep her up. Parking a child in front of the TV with a bottle of soda is not a good idea, in my opinion. Rather, I serve soda and other snack foods with moderation, maybe once every few days? As for me, I have a soda with lunch every day. :)

[dodo]

http://dodothatvoodoo.blogspot.com/2006/09/papernapkin-asks-so-i-want-to-know.html

[Lily]

First time commentor and it's a huge one, so I just made it an entry:

http://www.subtleglow.com/2006/09/foodstuff/

[Daydreams and Musings]

I started to comment but the comment got too long so I wrote a post in response. You can see it here.

[Michelle]

You sound like you're doing great to me, I couldn't agree with your ideas more. I know genetics play a large part in people's body types but if every ate healthy, stopped when they're full and exercised regularly I wonder if there would be an obesity epidemic at all. As for healthy snacks, my kids love popcorn, a slice of homemade bread and jam, smoothies, or even a small scoop of ice cream with lots of fresh strawberries on top. Cold cereal is a great option for anytime snacking.

[lizardek]

All your ideas sound very healthy to me.

We've not been as good as we would like about sweet stuff with the kids, but we are trying to be better. They don't snack much between meals, (Martin very rarely) and Karin almost always will take an apple or yogurt over anything else. They don't get sugar-sweetened cereal at all. They get 10 pieces of candy each on Friday nights, but only when we have myskväll (cozy family evenings) and that has to last them all weekeend. The only other time they get candy is at birthday parties. We try never to buy chips, not so much for the kids, but because Anders and I can't stop ourselves from eating them if they're in the house, but we do have microwave popcorn as a weekend treat. McDonald's a very infrequent treat, reserved for roadtrips usually. They get kicked out of the house if they've played on the computer or watched movie/TV for more than an hour, and they will happily go out and bounce on the trampoline for twice that. They're both active, although Karin is more so than Martin at home, without pushing. They're both involved in handball, and they both have gym 3x a week, plus dance and Martin has swim class (they both had it this summer, plus track&field camp). :)

[jen]

i have no expert advice - i do try to do smallish meals with mostly healthy stuff...but my kid is still young so it's easier. i think your ideas sound right on track, and you probably know best what to do but we all have those moments of self-doubt, and it's nice to hear we are doing very well after all. cheers to you.

[Jennifer]

Well, since you ask...

My girls are 5 and almost 8.

They get LOTS of candy at birthday parties (piñata culture, yo) and I let them have a piece or two at the party (along with the soda, cake and ice cream). But when we get home I put it away on top of the fridge and only give them a piece (sometimes two small ones) if they ask for it, which is actually hardly ever, because they forget. Every few months, I throw out or give away a big bag full of stale, sometimes melted candy. (My husband, on the other hand, is inclined to offer candy or ice cream as comfort when they get bumped or upset about something. Issues, issues...)

I buy a pack of single-serving sugar cereals for special occasions, usually one of their birthdays or a (very infrequent) camping trip or suchlike.

I have not been back to McDonalds since seeing Supersize Me about a year and a half ago - not for hard-and-fast ideological reasons, but because I just realized how unnecessary it was, and it proved to be pretty easy to cut out, especially living where we do. My in-laws still take them to McD's maybe once or twice a month and I don't object.

Soda: pretty much never at home (the younger one doesn't even like it), but if they're at a party or something they're allowed to have a moderate amount.

Snacking: Usually a banana, more because they can get it themselves than for any other reason. If we have some on hand, they're also allowed to have a yogurt. Sometimes crackers with PB. I sometimes make scones (recipe is loaded with butter), zucchini muffins or chocolate chip blondies, which then become snack foods until they're gone. I hoard baked goods for myself and eat them when the girls are at school or after they go to bed.

TV: At home, no TV, only a video at bedtime. Sometimes we rent videos as well, usually on a weekend or holiday. Sometimes we rent videos and never get around to them because the afternoon goes by too quickly and I don't like to set them in front of a feature film at bedtime (the night-time video is meant to be something familiar and relaxing...even, dare I say, boring...) At the in-laws' house, they're supposedly only allowed to watch Discovery Kids (no time limits) but I'm pretty sure that's not how it actually goes.

Exercise: No specific policy. They're active enough at school, I'm not too concerned at this point. I joined a gym earlier this year so they know I spend an hour or more exercising each day and they would LOVE to come with me, but they can't. They are both well within the normal weight range and are neither excessively nor insufficiently active.

Computer: They'd sit at it all day if I let them (mostly on pbskids.org). They usually don't get to use it at all, but when I do let them, I usually either set a timer for an hour (each), or just let them go for it until they get bored...which takes a while. I suspect this will become more and more of an issue as time goes by.

Additional information: My mother was on various diets and actively dissatisfied with her weight throughout my childhood (and to the present day). She has never, in my life, been either "slim" or "obese," just enough over the ideal weight to feel self-conscious and dissatisfied. Forever. It now turns out that there are some health issues (thyroid, for one) that have probably affected this throughout her life. Her experience affected me by making me fear, as a child, that I too would end up perpetually dissatisfied with my body image (while not looking "that bad"). Probably as a result, I have never gone "on a diet" and have pretty much accepted my body type (never ever slim, but never too far over average - always a bit thinner than my Mom and not as slim as my sister.) Only this year (at the age of 36) did I embark on a regimen of intentional, vigorous exercise. To my surprise, I have enjoyed it. To my delight, it has had a noticeable effect on my body (which, I was careful to state at the outset, was not my intention in doing it. I was simply looking to get more exercise because that is the healthy thing to do.)

Anyway. That's us. Oh, and I'm not exactly June Cleaver in the kitchen. I try not to give the girls the same food for two meals running, but...well, there's a lot of pasta. School lunches are particularly challenging for me because most Costa Rican mothers send full-course meals with rice, beans, a vegetable and a meat. At least, I think they do. My kids don't even want that, but I feel self conscious sending sandwiches every day. The school policy is: water only, no junk food, at least one fruit per day.

[Kimmie]

I love this post!!! Thanks for making me think about these things!

Here's the link to my post....

http://annabellemom99.blogspot.com/2006/09/kid-questions.html

[karen]

Me, me, meeeee! here's my rant:
http://lionandmagicboy.blogspot.com/2006/09/please-sir-may-i-have-some-more.html

Great topic, thanks!

[marian]

I've been thinking about doing a post regarding the two years when my son was overweight and how I handled it.

In the meantime I will say that your "eat when you're hungry and stop when you're full" idea is right on. I never made my kid eat when he wasn't hungry, and if two bites was all he wanted, he could stop.

One thing that we realized early on was that watching TV makes you want to eat, no matter what age you are. So we heartily discouraged eating while watching TV. I'd supply gum for TV watching, and that helped. And I never ate after supper, so he'd see that modelled.

No soda in the house, ever. After a while we simply stopped keeping chips, cookies or ice cream in the house. We'd buy small amounts for treats.

And treats were dessert after supper. Reasonable portions, no seconds unless it was a special occasion.

It was very difficult to work around a school culture than inundated the kids with sweets all day, but once my kid changed schools, it all settled down.

Oh, and walks -- going for walks as a thing to do together. Walking to the store instead of driving. Going to state parks and hiking on weekends. Going swimming, always heading out to do something physical if you possibly can. Skiing in winter, biking in summer, etc. Going to the Y if the weather's bad. And we bought a trampoline.

[Alana]

My son is five, and the pickiest eater on the planet. He drinks copious amounts of chocolate milk, doesn't eat breakfast, and usually has a peanut butter and marshmallow fluff sandwich on whitewheat bread for lunch (won't eat jelly, and pb is too dry), along with yogurt, string cheese, and fruit juice. He is not allowed to have soda; he drinks chocolate milk, white grape peach juice, or mommy's diet green tea. For snack at school, I send baked goldfish or Yogos (little colored yogurt ball things).

My husband and I aren't healthy eaters, and I have a weight problem, due to the snacking that I do in the afternoons. My husband and son are both very thin. I eat lunch at 11, my husband doesn't usually get home until 7, and I am starving when I get home from work at 4:30. I am also too tired to cook most nights, so my son has chicken nuggets, a cheese tortilla, or a hot dog for dinner.

My son also does not exercise a lot at home. He takes P.E. every day at school, stays for the YMCA after-school program, where the kids run around, and takes gymnastics once a week. When we get home in the evenings, he wants to watch TV or play on the computer. We try to go for a bike ride most days, but that's about it. I send money to the YMCA every month, but don't ever go with my money. I'm getting ready to start training for a 187-mile bike ride in April, so I have a feeling that I will become a whole lot more active. I'm just so tired after wrangling fifth-graders all day that I want to sit in a quiet place and unwind. That's usually in front of the computer, reading blogs.