Free-nus Envy

How is it that men (suck it, I have PMS, I'll make sweeping generalizations if I want to) are wholly without the parenting-guilt gene?

    Who did Adam bribe to get the genetic get out of guilt free card?

How is it that I can be standing over my kitchen sink, unable to see the dishes I'm washing, because I'm crying about something that happened this weekend, which guarantees me a spot in the pantheon of bad parenting, right there next to Medea, and my husband can call me on the phone, and when I answer the phone all snuffly and crackly-voiced, he can ask me what's wrong?

    What's wrong?!

How is it that when I said "I'm just still upset about the thing that happened this weekend," he said "What thing?"

    WHAT THING?!

How can he not instantly, and with stabbing pain, recall The Thing, when he was standing right there with me, and we discussed The Thing at length?

How is it that I went on to replay The Thing, in an endless mental loop, and run a marathon on the I-SUCK treadmill, and he went on to watch the Mavericks beat the Suns, and have a good night's sleep.

How?

Comments

[cyndi]

I'm right there with ya, sister.

[Kat]

I wish I knew. I think the whole guilt thing must reside somewhere in the X gene so we get a double dose of it.

[Kris]

He's a man, honey. He's a man.

I hate PMS. HATE. I also have several parenting THINGS that have made me cry with guilt, and have gone RIGHT. OVER. HIS. HEAD.

So, you pose a good question. My take is that all we can do as moms is learn as we go and do the best we can. We have to forgive ourselves, but also demand the best from ourselves. It can be so hard.

I hear you on this!
xoxo

[Kira]

Oh honey.
*pat, pat*
It's ok, it all evens out because of the childbirth pain...wait, no...that can't be right...
Dammit.

[Laylabean]

Ugh! Add me to the line right behind you, Sheryl. I totally get what you mean, this happens in my house too.

And how lucky are (most) dads to not have to make the choice between kids and career? Think of the luxury of making a career choice based on what would be best for your career instead of having to factor in home, family, and children into the equation. *grumble*

[jenB]

honestly. sometimes they are SO DUMB.

[Vicus Scurra]

What is this strange thing 'guilt' to which you refer?

[Marilyn]

Because they're like that dog in The Far Side cartoon..."blah blah blah blah GINGER blah blah blah..." ;)

[Ellen]

It must be related to the same thing that causes them to forget some Vitally Important Thing that you just told them (like the time & location of Junior's next ball game, which he will miss because "I didn't hear you"). Dave Barry said once that when women talk, men are just waiting for their turn to talk, and not listening at all. Like the Far Side cartoon dog mentioned by Marilyn. Men are dogs, what can you do?

[That Girl]

It's because in the parents sweepstakes, kids will only notice the things their dads DO for them (they never notice all the ways dad sucks) whereas they rarely notice what mom DOES for them, just the stuff she Doesnt do.
Some days it's so not worth it.

[DM]

Because they are men and therefore the bane of our existence. But gosh, they can be so cute.

[jess]

Cute or not, men suck.

But then, sometimes they don't.

[Laylabean]

That's very deep THAT GIRL, I hadn't thought of it that way before but you're absolutley right.

Great, now I'm depressed.

[Elizabeth]

hahahahahha

I can't remember what I was going to say anymore cause I'm laughing to hard at Marilyn's comment--

hahahahhahaha

[Meg]

2 words. Boys Suck. (((hugs)))

[Jeff]

Even though I'm the man, I think I feel more guilt than my wife...I hate leaving him at day care, I feel guilty for watching TV for an hour rather than playing with him, freak out on my wife if she leaves a pair of tweezers on the sink (he could grab them and poke his eye out, I swear!)

[samantha]

It's all about the compartamentalizing ability that I just don't have! I have no parental guilt of course (yet!) but feel sure it will all kick in as soon as the sperm and egg meet and form a tiny, guilt-inducing zygote.

[Jill]

I am SO THERE with you! There is NO GUILT when my hubby leaves for work in the morning. I am sure he thinks that it is a much needed break from parenting. I need to get over the parenting guilt - though I am Jewish and probably it is in my blood!... that is, the guilt thing!

BTW - be glad you have a place to wash your dishes! I spent the entire morning with plumber after my sink blew up from too much crap being shoved down the garbage disposal. That absolutley derserves a few minutes of blogging!

Jill from Silicon Valley Moms Blog!

[Wayne]

I feel a little oversimplified now.

[chris]

I hear you.
I wish I could be more man-like sometimes and feel absolutely no guilt.