A Pancake, A Pancake, My Kingdom For A Pancake!

I'm on a new jag where I do everything I need to do before I do anything I want to do. I pay bills, do dishes and laundry before I get online, read, or soak in the tub¹. When it comes to eating, this means I drink water (at least a quart) before I imbibe the ambrosia of the gods, diet Dr. Pepper. I must eat a few fruits and vegetables before I break out the Cheetos.

So I've been making an effort to eat some vegetables for breakfast. I try never to use the words vegetable and breakfast in the same sentence, but not as hard as I try never to eat vegetables for breakfast. It's just wrong on so many levels. First of all, it takes a certain amount of courage for me to get out of bed in the morning, and I should be rewarded with refined carbohydrates. Second, I should not have to exert undue effort to chew my food in the morning. Third, spinach is not magically delicious, nor does it contain colored marshmallows.

But! Neither exhaustion, nor nausea, nor lack of caffeine, shall keep this woman from her appointed vegetables! So for breakfast I've been scrambling an egg (protein!), and throwing in some broccoli. Now I like broccoli, especially if it's organic, and steamed with a squeeze of lemon, and there's nothing else to eat in the house but corn starch and a can of Vienna sausages. But broccoli and I are no longer speaking, because this morning I managed to burn the broccoli twice. (No that's not some sort of euphamism, [burn my broccoli baby!] I really burned the broccoli.)

First I stuck it in the microwave for a mere two minutes, but apparently Will's Thomas The Tank Engine bowl isn't microwave safe, who knew? After about a minute I heard crack! crack! crackle! As far as I know, broccoli should not sound like popcorn when you cook it. I opened the door to find smoke, and a ruined Thomas bowl, which I furtively popped in the trash. Surprisingly, the smell of burnt broccoli is not all that pleasant. Not nearly as pleasant as, say, a cinnamon roll. Ever diligent, I soldiered on to burn my next batch of broccoli. (I'm really digging all this alliteration².) This time I stuck it in a skillet with some Pam. Sometime later I returned to the kitchen to the familiar odor of (say it with me) burned broccoli.

I just know this is a sign I'm supposed to eat chocolate cake for breakfast.

1. Okay I might slap up a quick post about what I overheard in the gas station, but 98% of the time it's work before play.
2. Every time I hear the word alliteration, it reminds me of that line in Broadcast News, "A lot of alliteration for anxious anchormen placed in powerful positions." I loved that movie. I'm not sure why I needed to share that with you.

Comments

[Laura]

Have pumpkin pie for breakfast. It's wonderful - vegetables, dairy, protein. Extra calcium if you use real whipped cream. (Let's all sing the praises of the midwife who was determined to get eggs into me at breakfast.)

Chocolate cake is a good runner up, though. Cacao is a fruit!

[lizardek]

Sliced tomatoes taste really good on melted cheese. :)

[Coarine]

I am with you - vegetables are for lunch and dinner and should no way be part of breatfast ... I don't think the Captin would go for that ...

[Jennifer]

I'm trying to follow your philosophy, first things first, I have to resist my urge to blog and read blogs first thing in the morning. But here it is 9:47 AM and I am still in my robe reading blogs, and I haven't done a thing else except drink a cup of green tea. It's time to go exercise, BEFORE I eat my breakfast....

Funny post.

[jeepmom]

Even tho your attempt to eat well and include vegi's for breakfast, I probably would give up the effort. Now I'm a true lover of vegi's but I think breakfast should be not quite as eventfull as you had.
But I will give you an A for the good effort and challenge to yourself.

[MySelf]

I think the rules of blog grammar will alleviate your problem of using vegetables and breakfast in the same sentence. Just say, "I had vegetables. For breakfast." I think it makes your point nicely. ;)

My favorite b'fast is an English muffin with cream cheese and a slice of tomato. But I think tomato's a fruit, so never mind.

[cath]

I like the idea of work before play. I might try that. (how's that for commitment?) the food part really struck me. I should strive to eat more good food before bad food.

here are my "veggie" ideas for breakfast:
coffee: it comes from beans
chocolate: (see coffee)
ketchup: I like that on scrambled eggs, and it comes from tomatoes, so there ya go
bloody mary: tomato juice. 'nuff said.

hope this helps. :-)

[wordgirl]

I should follow that sort of program, but I find myself stumbling out of bed, grabbing my vitamins and a glass of water and checking my e-mail a few blogs first. It's a nice way to wake up.

[DM]

I think eating vegetables for breakfast would be much easier if someone made them for me. If I have to cook, it'll never happen.

And tomatoes are a fruit. They are also evil. Just in case you didn't know.

[Erin]

Sounds like an awful lot of effort for the AM. Don't forget to pace yourself.
Good luck.

[Snow]

I put salsa and spinach in with my eggs in the morning. I can't do broccoli under the best of circumstances. Bleh.

[carmie]

oh jeez, veggies for breakfast? you're a braver woman than i. and i LOVE veggies.

sliced avocado on the scrambled eggs? one of those odwalla superfood drinks? souffle or frittata with sauted leeks (full-on onions are hard to handle when the time is still in single digits)?

[Salena]

I eat very "south beachy" so I try to incorporate vegetables into my breakfast. Its hard though! A lot of times, I'll heat up some Spicy Hot V8 juice and put a dallop of sour cream in it. It's kinda like soup... My other favorite is green oninons in a scrambled egg. Yum! Okay, now i'm hungry. :)

[mo-wo]

I am a 'professional' bureaucrat and you would NOT beeelieve how many times I think, "I say it here and it comes out there.." Broadcast had some really memorable lines. Like "the inexplicable success of Entertainment Tonight", which simply ringer truer every year.

Tomorrow, I go forward with 'burns my broccoli' in my repertoire of quotations. Delicious.