He Went Bob Bob Bobbin' Along

Enough with trying to fill this space with superior content. It's a blog, not Harper's. From here on out it'll be the All NEW, Same Ol' Same Ol'!™  Let the jabbering commence!

Haley and Emily are like night and day. Emily is a sensitive, meticulous, conscientious child (the egg was obviously implanted in my uterus by aliens, because those aren't my genes-- definitely all Aaron). Haley is sweet too, but more of the talk-to-the-hand, eye-rolling, it-ain't-a-party-'til-something-gets-broke type.(Definitely my genes.) You might think their diverse personalities are due to the developmental differences between 7 and 4, but you'd be wrong.

Today the girls discovered a bird when they were playing in the back yard. And here’s where things are way more complicated when you have kids, and you end up having to nearly touch dead things, and hold funeral services, instead of leaving carcasses to decompose in peace.”

“Mom! There’s a dead bird in the yard.”

”Ew, well don't touch it, and daddy can deal with it when he gets home,” I said, deftly shifting responsibility.

”Mom! You have to come see,” they exclaimed.

Yea verily, the bird was dead. (Do not click! Dead bird!) Always the pragmatist, I suggested they avoid the bird and play in the front yard.

”We can't just leave her there!” Emily pleaded.

”Let's just put it in the trash.” Haley suggested.

”Haley! It's a life, it's not a piece of trash,” Emily snapped.

”Well it's not alive if it's dead,” Haley retorted.

”Emily,” I said “What do you want to do with it, honey?”

”Take care of it.”

”Well there’s not much we can do, would you like to bury it?”

”Yes.”

She was alright until we went into the garage to look for the spade. And then she melted into tears. I got a paper towel, and picked the thing up, trying not to think, “Squick, squick, SQUICK, there are only three thin layers of paper towel between my fingers and this decaying wad of feathers.”

So we buried it, and Emily put a flower on the top and we prayed,

"God, thank you for this bird,” I said “thank you for the songs it sang—“      

Haley broke in “--And please let there be no more dead birds in our back yard and help Emily just forget about the dead bird.”   

Well that about sums it up, I thought, “Amen.”   

Haley shed nary a tear, I could almost hear her little psyche shrug its shoulders and say, “Eh, what’s a dead bird or two.” Emily was a wreck, poor thing.

What about its babies? What about its family?

Here they are moments after it was over. Please don’t think I’m making fun of them. The difference between them is so funny, I can’t help giggling at them (but not ‘til they’re out of earshot).

Comments

[Mary Jo]

Haha they remind me of my nieces. Too cute.

[Very Mom]

Oh I was Emily and my sister was Haley. We're still like that. I can cry over commercials and people I don't know in countries I've never been to, but Mandy is just, "Eh, that's kind of sad, hmm?" before she goes back to whatever she was doing before I dissolved into a puddle of tears on the floor.

[Very Mom]

p.s. yay for the B header!

[Queen of Ass]

Hehehe! That's priceless!

My 6 year old son would try and dissect it. Screw the burying! Cut Cut cut! Science experiment!

[lizardek]

This is the funniest damn thing I've seen all week!! You are SO getting linked AGAIN!

[bluepoppy]

This same ol same ol belongs in Harpers! God, what I wouldn't give for some of Haley's sangfroid. Unfortunately, I fall into the Emily camp . . poor child has a long road of sensitivity hell ahead of her.

And, your lovely bird? Twas my favorite-- a robin.

[bluepoppy]

p.s. And your header? Makes CLEAR that you know it was a robin-- think I'll go sob in the corner at my stupidity. Emily, wanna come with?

[Wendi]

AWWW....isn't it funny how you can have two children, that you KNOW came from the same parents...yet turn out so different!

As a child I would have been like Emily too...OKAY, even now, though I may not cry...I'd feel a twinge in my heart for the poor dead bird. (although, sadly if I found it in MY backyard. My German Shepherd would probably be the reason for it's demise.)

[laura]

A great story, and the funniest picture. Thanks for brightening my day!

[scott]

*weeps softly*
I clicked. There really was a dead bird. I hope it went quickly, or alternatively, that it had a living will.
Love you BRIGHT banner.

[scott]

*Darn it. I mean, love YOUR bright banner. Blush.

[liz]

Great post. I especially like your thinking sound effects "Squick, squick, SQUICK"

[DM]

Oh, God. I am a mixture between Haley and Emily (great names, by the way). I sobbed over a dead bird that crashed into our window and then drowned in the dog's water dish and wrote this agonizing poem about how the bird deserved better than that and oh, the angst when I was a teenager (here is the link in case you want to laugh at me (which I highly recommend) http://godormonty.blogspot.com/2004/06/bird.html). I cry at commercials. I wept throughout all of Troy because people kept dying and it was very sad. I was once caught crying over a book where a cat died.

But give me another hour and I'll be just fine. I like to think that crying is a good catharsis and keeps me from bottling up all my feelings and becoming completely insane.

[Fraulein N]

Hee, that picture is too cute and funny. (No, not the one with the dead bird.) The contrast between the girls' expressions KILLS me.

[Kym]

Whew. Im glad you are back to the same ol' same ol'. I was getting a complex.

[Marilyn]

That picture really DOES say it all, doesn't it?! Too funny. (Not about the bird though...)

P.S. Like the new banner.

[Dollymama]

He-Lar-EE-Us. I love it.

[Janet]

OMG you are hysterically funny!!!