Flounder: It's What's For Breakfast...Lunch And Dinner

Today my neurosis was thrown into sharp relief when I went to Emily's class to read a story. I took Haley and Will with me. Everything went swimmingly, but sweet merciful Xanax, I was a mess. It was one of those days (and it ain't over yet) when I "couldn't do it," whatever "it" was. I couldn't play Go Fish, or tie shoes, or read to small children. I used to be a first grade teacher, so the fact that I experienced anxiety about this was pathetic. I imagined the afternoon going something like this.

Mrs. Sweet: Children I want you to welcome Mrs. Basketcase to our class. Please be polite and listen as she reads us the story, because she's *whispers* emotionally fragile, and the last thing we want is a scene, alrighty?

Me: Hi. I'm so glad I could come to Emily's room and share this book with you. I think---uh, yes? The boy with the red hair?

Boy with red hair: Have you been crying?

Me: Why do you ask that, honey?

Boy with red hair: Your face is blotchy and red and your cheeks are streaked with mascara.

Me: Well, sometimes grown-ups feel sad and it's okay to cry because---

Girl with purple dress: Why is your son wearing light blue chinos? It's December. Those are summer pants.

Me: Oh! Those are his special "storytime pants" and---

Girl with purple dress: You didn't do the laundry this week, did you?

Me: Didn't I just see you standing by the chalkboard eating your boogers?

Please tell me it's going to be all better soon, because I cannot take many more days where I am Superman, and they have poisoned the water supply with Kryptonite.

 

Comments

[Tig]

Uh, I am hopeful it won't be of any harm to anyone if I admit that I jes' laughed my arsey off.

[sarah]

It will be better soon. It really will. The magic pills take a while to work, but one day you will realize that it hasn't been so bad recently, and lord have mercy, you actually had fun when you weren't paying attention. Hang in there.

[lizardek]

I'm amazed that you are able to be so damn funny in the face of adversity. It WILL be better soon. *hugs*

[Kris]

Oh, I'm laughing here, but feeling for you at the same time. I hope things start to improve real soon. Maybe it's not the right medicine for you, sometimes it takes some experimentation to find the right one. Hang in there, Sheryl. *hugs*

[Beth]

It will get better. Yup, yup, yup, I guarantee it.

[Very Mom]

Oh honey, I would have flipped the bird to the entire class and MY son would have been wearing nothing but his Spiderman underpants because I haven't done laundry in weeks.

[bluepoppy]

Ditto what Lizardek said with extra hugs and a huge box of chocolate--- breathe, you are wonderful, as my nana would say, feed your dreams starve your worries---

[Kate Rothwell]

Ohhh golly, it's gonna be a nice, quiet christmas in the boobyhatch for you, Ms. Basketcase.

(I'll see you there -- I'll be the one banging my head on the wall whimpering about the December 23 field trip with sixth graders who're doing concerts in schools.)

[Amanda]

Don't be so hard on yourself! And pants are pants. I mean they weren't shorts, right?