So Long, and thanks for all the fishes.
I'm conducting an experiment in quitting. I want to see what it's like to not have a blog.
5 years ago I started this here blog. I was crazy as a loon at the time. I lived in Texas, where I did not fit in at all. My husband was in graduate school, and was gone so much I actually had to pretend he was on military deployment so that when I saw him I could be pleasantly surprised instead of resentful. I had 3 children under 6, and I yelled a lot. I was depressed. I knew no one, and it was a lot of fun reading blogs, writing posts, commenting on other blogs. It was a lot of fun feeling like a part of a community. It was a very bright spot in my life.
But my life is very different (read: much better) now, the blogging community has changed a lot (read: not for the better, in my opinion), and I'm not much a part of it any more. I don't have the free time I used to to spend on the internet, so I don't participate as much as I did.
Frankly, I didn't make the transition from blogging buddy to friend very well. I sent and received some presents, I had some phone conversations, but not much more. Even when I had the chance to interact face to face, I often didn't. It just felt too weird. I guess I need friendships to generate more organically or something. Maybe I'm just an odd duck.
Lately in the blogosphere some tragic things have happened. There have been deaths, divorces, job losses, and the recurrence of mental and physical illness, and I really haven't been able to offer much support other than a donation, or some kind words. Some beautiful things have happened too. Marriages and births, new pets and new jobs, and I really haven't been able to offer more than heartfelt congratulations.
I am a primate. Primates like to verbalize, and hug, and point. We like to give eye contact, and pick nits from our friends' fur. The best aspect of friendship is just hanging out. So much of myself and yourself is missing when we interact via social media, it doesn't satisfy the primal me.
But it's also been amazing to meet so many great people, and at least get a peek in the window of your lives. I never would have known Liz or Sam or Dana existed if it weren't for blogging, and my life is richer because of them and others. No matter how limited blogging is, and no matter how much I hate the word blog, it's wonderful. As you can see, I'm conflicted, which is nothing new, which is why this is only an experiment in quitting*. We'll see how it goes.
If I do blog again, I'll probably start fresh somewhere else, so email me at papernapkin@gmail.com if you want my new address.
